its been a long time and thought ill be writing again ... many things have happened recently and i just feel like i needed a space to speak abt it because i dont speak much abt my feelings irl.

2023, the year my ahma lost her best friend, her sis in law... 

        , the year my ahma lost her bro in law...

        , the year my ahma lost her son in law...

        , the year ben tan has moved to a better place...

every year as we mature another year, ahma turns another year older too. Please keep ahma in your blessing and that she will forever be happy and healthy. and mummy too, please be forever strong .

sometimes i wonder why am i not expressing myself enuff to the ppl i love and care ? why must i be so crude w my words.. but then i remembered how u was a strong man too. despite everything u never mention anything until u knew i am capable of handling the issue for you. 

for the last 2 mths of ur time, u stayed in the hospital everyday.. and i watched your health worsen... physically and mentally... and there was nth i can do cause i do not know how to handle it. for the first time, i didnt know whad to do or say...

i rushed down from flt to catch u one last time before you u took ur last breath. and im so glad i managed to call you pa again and i knew u could hear me despite not opening your eyes. 

i watched the HR dropped every time you take another breath until the monitor can no longer feel your pulse and the dr came in... it was tough to watch, it was heartbreaking but then i knew.. i am now the pillar for our family and that ill have to be the strongest here...

i dont speak to you much.. but i speak alot abt you.. and now i have nothing more to say because u r no longer around. we may not be close but i always wanted to be old skool and have u meet the right guy ill be living w for the rest of my life but you left so soon.. and im still enjoying my time being young and free. but i wont worry much because i know u will be watching over us from above....

its weird to come home now and to see your spot empty... knowing that spot will forever be vacant now still makes me feel things... 

ben tan's legacy from 1956-2023. and i will always tells ur story as long as i can ....

lovex, 

           kitx <3 

♥ Embrace the magic
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