Monday, 31 July 2017

so apparently its the last day of july already. August starts tmr, and we are almost done with the year. time flies so fast, 2017 will be ending soon, and a new year is waiting for us to embrace it. i hate how time flies, turning 20 next year, but i still have no idea whad i wan in life. i have no idea whad are my goals anymore.

been happy with my life so far, simple and quiet. no quarrels no love.  lost all my close ones in the process of trying to keep someone i hope to call mine forever. but i guess it was stupid. treasuring someone that doesnt know how to treasure you sucks. 不要等到那个珍惜你的人走了，才来说对不起。 两年前认识你是我最新运的事， 爱上了你是我不对， 做了你们之间的第三者是我不好。 its funny how now that im your girlfriend, i still have to feel like im the extra one. i tried and wanted to let things go, but something is always holding me back somehow.


原来你的未来还是没有地方让我留在你身边， 很多话就因为开不了口 所以什么事都只能收在心里， 久了之后就习惯了。 我忘记了最后一次酱看着你， 酱因为你而笑是几时了。 我好像只能留着你给我的回忆，你的人却走了。 我不应该期望太多，因为我是个第三者。


我的未来还会有你在吗？我不知道了。 你想走我也不会再留你了。  说好以后一家4 口 开开心的过日子， 应该很难了吧。 我以为时间久了你会选择留在我身边， 可是到了最后你还是没办法真正离开她的身边。 哪么该是我走了吧。 i been so tired of hiding under my sheets at night , letting my tears flow, i dont want to wakeup every morning with my pillow wet by the sides.... why am i not brave enough to let go.  knowing you 3 yrs back was still the best event that ever happen to me. but maybe we are just not meant to be .

hi my dearest keikei, thanks for being my best sister. my best friend. thank you for always encouraging me and listening to me when i needed someone by my side. thank you for not judging him, and thank you for all the constant reminders of why i love him so much. memories that brings back smiles, they means alot to me. im glad you are back in singapore to work, at least we have more time with each other.

one day, ill be free. one day i will fly far away. and start a new life. you may or may not be apart of my future. but for now, thank you for staying with me.





  xoxo