Saturday, 23 January 2016

im not an expert in relationship. I'm not good at all, but i still wanna speak my mind about whad i think about it...  if two people are happily in love. no matter who or whad comes in your way, you will be able to overcome it. if he truly loves you, he won't be swayed by others. and if she really loves you she won't give up easily. that whads going to keep the relationship going... years and days and months and time is just a time factor in the whole journey. you can know everything about each other but eventually come to realise , i can't love him/her anymore. why is that so ? is it cause you became bored? or is it cause you became so used to the other party, that now its not that special anymore ?

when you fell in love w someone else again, do you know that you are gonna hurt all three involving party ?  first, you betrayed the girl who gave you her entire heart. second, you're hurting the other girl whom you can't protect. and lastly, yourself. you're not killing two birds with one stone.. you're being killed by two birds with one stone.  eventually, we are all gone be killed. why did we still choose to walk down this path ? knowing its gonna be a painful journey... knowing that it will bleed us dry. because we all have this emotion and feeling inside of us. and that is love.

so many ways to show your love for one person. so many ways to say that I'm in love.

 if you love him, let him go. if his heart isn't with you anymore, whads the point in keepin? when its gonna hurt you even more eventually when he finally decided to leave..

if she loves him, let him go. let him stay with her, let him go back to her. maybe its the best thing you can do for him because you can't be with him at all. so don't spoil their relationship anymore. let him pursue happiness with her all over again. let him find love in her once again. if he is meant to be yours, he will not be able to stay there for long. sometimes we just have to learn to let the one we love go, because we can't do anything or guarantee anything to keep them by our side too.

if he knows whats best for him, let him decide. don't do anything to make him think twice and be afraid to pursue whad he really wants..


hello uncle foong, I'm really happy with you, you filled my heart . you was my everything, i really love you a lot. and now, I'm going keep you in my heart forever. because i know you can't let her go, so whad if we both love each other? does it actually matters ? i guess not, because you're still together with her, and there is nothing that you are gonna do. and there is nothing she will do to let you go. she is holding onto you, and you are scared to let go. you are scared of our future. whad if our relationship fails. that is whad you are afraid of, you do not dare to face it. and there is nothing i can do to force you to face this future with me. i can't let you go just like that, cause why must i let someone take happiness away from me. when we both clearly is aware of our feelings for each other now... but since you are not gonna do anything. i will wish you and her a blissful future. but please promise me , you will never fall for another girl again. but don't you think you are letting her down ? you are hindering her chance of finding the right guy that will love her better than you and not disappoint her ? i love you despite the fact that you got her.. we confessed our feelings knowing that it won't be strong and lasting if you are still in a relationship with her . 你怕什么 ？ 我爱上了你，我会勇敢地去面对未来的obstacles。。我多想带你回家，告诉全家人我找到了我最爱的男人。只是我不能这样做。如果你不爱她了，那你会不会放走她？ 你会让她离开吗 ？如果你做不到，请告诉，请你叫我走。我心里真的很乱，明明就相爱彼此，却不能在一起。我好想叫你和她分手，可是我不能这样自私。好吧，你就自己看着办。你选择她，我会为你感到快乐。你选择我，那我们就一起努力吧。可是，现在我就先和你说声： 谢谢你啊良，谢谢你让我感觉到幸福的滋味。这一年来，我真的很开心。我们的美好回忆我都会收在心里。你虽然不是个有钱人，又不是什么大帅哥。我从没想过自己会爱上你。以前的我，对男人的要求是高了一点。可是遇见了你，我就知足了。我不需要过个富贵的生活，只要有你在，我真的很满足了。有些话，我很想告诉你，可是现在不是时候，我都希望我能抱着你，跟你说声我爱你，谢谢你。可是我无能为力。所以我只能在这说。你教了我很多。我也从你身上学会了很多，我变了。我再也不是以前的我，我希望你能少吸烟，你还年轻，我不要你老了后悔啊。你其实不笨，你只是懒惰学习罢了。如果你不放弃学习，我相信你一定可以找到一个好工作。你最后一个目标就是在23岁前买间屋子。我知道你信的。我相信你。好朋友我祝福你，未来的日子，不管你选择谁，我都为你感到开心。 我爱你 uncle foong.

Labels: goodbye my love

Thursday, 21 January 2016

hello ! quick update for this space because, i officially removed my braces today !! ^^ finally, after three long years. I'm metal free in my mouth ~~  it is not an easy journey. because i wasn't able to smile normally, i wasn't able to eat normal food. i mean i can but its just a tiny bit harder cause I'm scared that pieces of the food will be stuck in my mouth.. anyways, those days are over!! i can smile brightly now and I'm gonna smile everyday. whether I'm sad or not, I'm going to smile.  because smiling is the only confidence and makeup a girl will ever need to wear.  i will always remember this saying.

so after my appt, i made a trip down to CTP genki sushi, to find que! i miss working w her, i miss working w my oc family,.. i can't wait for oc to reopen and start working again ! honestly, i learnt a lot when i worked w everyone. it made me realise who are important ppl in my life and how everyone actually played a part in nurturing me and helping me grow into who i am now. when I'm successful in the future, i will never forget everyone of you. no matter where we will be in the future, i will always remember you all in my heart and soul. <3

thanks mummy for accompanying me to the dentist today ! ^^ thanks for watching my entire journey of having braces in my mouth. thanks for allowing me to even have them. it was hard for you to decide and allowing me to do it back then cause we didn't have enough money.. thank you for everything. I'm so glad that you are able to watch me remove it, it was hard from the start but thank you for everything. and of course, thank you papa for occasionally driving me to my appt and making time to fetch me there ^^   AINI AINI

Labels: a smile is the best makeup a girl ever needs.

Sunday, 17 January 2016

I'm going to tell myself, i need to be happy and i will be happy. for myself and for him. I'm aware of my actions, and no i will not stop doing it. i am going to fight for my own happiness. but i won't break you guys apart. ultimately, ill want him to decide. i will wait, and i won't force him or mentionit to him. he have to make a decision for himself. i know if i really end up being the reason for their break... many people will judge me, they will hate me. but its ok, cause i won't mind. if i can be happy w him. yes they tell me to think twice. they want me to know that if he can do this to her now,, whad makes me so sure that he won't do this to me in the future ? if i choose to be w him. i will trust he won't do this to me. just like her, i am in no position to give any comments actually. but I'm just gonna say whads on my mind... because this is my space. and if you're reading it and judging me, please kindly just leave this site. ..

what exactly are we  ? i wonder. we are more than colleagues. we started off as colleagues we progress to friends. then to best friend. now we have feelings for each other. its gonna be a year soon. i know its not the most healthiest relationship, but we were happy at times. thank you for being there for me, thank you for telling me that you are willing to listen to all my troubles,. you are the very first guy to ever say that to me. and it really warms my heart. I'm so scared of losing you , even if we can't be lovers, I'm glad you still called me your best friend. its not gonna be easy to stay just best friends when we had genuine feeling for each other. i can't hope for anything. but i just wish something will be decided soon for good. all I'm hoping for now, is that you can celebrate my 18th birthday with me. i won't need anything else if i can see you there .. you will be the best gift ill ever receive..

i may not be be part of your life 21years ago, we never expect to cross each other path, we never expect feelings to grow between us. i never thought ill fall for you. i never thought you would mean so much to me.. even if i get to catch a glimpse of you now, I'm really happy and thats all i ever will need to get me past each week. i just hope that i can be apart of your future from now. i may not know whad role I'm suppose to play.. but anything will do, so long as i can see you in my future. :)

aini aini <3

Labels: i love you uncle foong

Friday, 8 January 2016

hello, are you doing fine? are you happy ? are you sad ? are you okay ?? i have so much to say to you, so much to ask you.. but I'm just so afraid of voicing it out.. why ? because i have no rights to speak up anymore. ever since we are both aware of our feelings..  it never seems right for me to go near you ever again, its like a sin. i got so much to tell you, so much to share.. but i can't know for sure if you're interested in knowing anymore.. at one point, you showed so much interest and care. and the next minute, you cannot be bothered about me.. i understand your situation. i know its tough. I'm sorry i choose to come into your life despite knowing you're attached. if only my feelings didn't grow so much..  but i never regret anything. I'm really happy when I'm w you.. no one ever make me so happy before, you changed me. you shaped me. you gave me a new life.. and I'm not ready to change again. neither do i want to move on. you're so impt to me, i really dk whad to do if i have to lose you forever.. i used to thought i could just move on when it was time to . but now that I'm aware of our feelings, something inside of me is stirring, telling me not to give up on my own happiness.. even if it means that someone else have to be hurt.  i feel so guilty and sad, that our relationship like this is almost coming to a year.. i wish we stand a chance, but that means that you have to end it w her... but I'm afraid also. I'm overthinking a lot... again.. i hope you're doing well. i hope to see you again soon . i hope we both can think through and do something soon. ...

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

hello 2016 ! thanks for being a great start ! ^^ though many things has happened in this short week.. I'm glad certain people stayed. and better friends found. although i had to end certain chapters in 2015, I'm glad there is always a new chapter to the same story. really thankful for the chance given. really blessed by everyone . no words could be used to describe my love for every single one of you that i really appreciate.



thank you genki sushi, for all the beautiful memories created. thank you for blessing me w all the important life lessons. i really learnt a lot, thank you to everyone of you. especially kei , que and leong. thank you for being apart of my life. thank you for guiding me through my adolescent years. really glad i got the chance to meet all of you. I'm really grateful for a best friend and sister like kei. i never had someone to talk to w my worries. thanks for being the first , and thanks for treating me like a lil sis .  ^^ and que, thanks for enlightening my life. showing me how the working life is like and how scary adults can be.. it's really an eye opening opportunity for me. lastly, leong. thanks for becoming my everything in 2015, it was a wonderful year spent w you. I'm really glad we met . I'm really glad we finally know the truth , I'm really glad we also sorted things out. if its meant to be, it will eventually turns out right for both of us.. maybe not now, but as long as we don't avoid and run away from the situation.. i think we can stay very good friends forever  ^^



can't wait for CNY 2016 !! really excited for it cause I'm finally turning legal and i can't wait to get my driving license.  ^^ so many things to accomplish this year. please bless me while i get through this year. gonna graduate from pfp.. gonna get license, gonna be legal to drink, travel and have the best time of my life. gonna work real hard and earn lots of money too :P

hopefully this cny , i get to spend quality time w the family and friends. i really hope i can invite my colleagues to my place for cny. i may not know how they feel.. but i know they will be missing home. i know its hard for them. but I'm afraid to say whad i really feel cause I'm scare that it will offence some of them...  anyways, cheers to the new year !! have a wonderful time ! enjoy everything while we can, because when time flies past, its going to be too late to regret. ..