Saturday, 31 October 2015

happy halloween guys ! this time my update isn't gonna be so emo-ish ...  been to hhn5 twice this year, both visit have awesome memories . went the first time w TEG2 ,, hehehe thanks to them i have one of the best memory made there, Human & Cylone ride achieved ! hehehe it was the right choice to ride w joanne cause we were both screaming and laughing at the same time and ppl would have thought that we was crazy~ kekeke.  the second visit was w all those faves up there ^^^^^   went to all 4 haunted hses this time and lets say it was avg. even i been to it before .. i still got scared by some cause i forgot they were there hahahaha. -.- well, thanks for protecting me ^^

Monday, 26 October 2015

i guess you're pretty much stuck in a sticky situation cause of me.. I'm sorry i came into ur life and made a mess out of it. idky but i just feel like its my fault. but then at the same time i think that everything happened for a reason... i know there are lots of stuff that you keep from me, but ill eventually just find out on my own. its getting so confusing these days. whad everyone is telling me... can i really believe them ? i allow myself to believe them even tho i know it might hurts if i realise that it is just my wishful thinking...

你知不知道，我天天都在想你. 越想越多.. 我知道我不应该酱想你，可是我真的不可以不想你.. 我好想告诉自己你是会回家的,倒是你就会忘了我你也不会再和我联络.... 可是最近的每一天我们之间....我真的很开心  i know its impossible. really. but people giving me the idea that it will work out one day and i am gonna tell myself that i will wait.  and i will. because you became a part of me, and even though i can't have you now. i need you still. i want to wait even tho it is a stupid choice.

i miss you a lot. when i can't see you, i can only look at my phone, and feel ur presence there.. where did you go today? whad happen ? i want to know , but I'm afraid to text you first. i can't allow myself to do that , cause I'm scare that you won't reply me .. and if you don't, i will be sad.

Mr Foong, i will wait for miracles to happen even though its .... they may call me a bitch for having that wish, but i really can't control whad I'm feeling anymore. you taken over me, and i want to have you in my life ... whad the future contains is a mystery.. i believe in you.

and i am gonna tell myself this : " my current situation is not my final destination  "

If you can’t get someone off your mind they are probably supposed to be there.

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

the months seems like years to me, I'm starting to doubt myself too, whad have i turned into (?) I'm no longer the kitty that everyone thought who i was. I'm curious where she went to. i want to find her back, but i just don't know how... everyone out there thinks I'm perfect , Ive no worries and stress. just because i don't show it doesn't mean i don't have it... for all you know , i maybe breaking down inside. barely surviving. I'm holding every pieces of me w that lil amt of strength left in me. I'm tired. i wish i can just go somewhere far .

冯先生，你好吗？ 我有好多话想对你说，可惜我不能说.... 因为说出去后，我真的不知道该怎样走下去... 明明就很喜欢你，却什么也不能说，那些话收在我心里已经很久了. 我都不知道我可以忍到几时... 唉～ 做么我会走到这种地步... 如果当时我没选择pfp,我就不会认识你了. 我也不会害到你被夹在中间... 请问你未来的路要怎么走？ 因为我要鼓起勇气走向另一个方向... 我怕了，我真的不想照成你们中间的问题，我知道我是没机会的啊，可是我还是放不下那一点点希望。。

i really can't control my feelings for you anymore. i know its wrong and i have to stop, but i really can't. I'm falling deeper as the days goes by. everything i heard from others, it really makes me wonder if there is even a 1% chance between us, but then again there is her. she will always be there, i know i shouldn't even be mentioning her when I'm the extra here. but its just so confusing sometimes. i don't even know if you are lying to me or not, i don't even know if i can trust your words at times. it was you that told me not to trust everyone words. but are you one of them that is lying to me too ? i wonder a lot, but i still chose to believe you won't lie to me and that you are always serious w whad you said to me... but sometimes i really doubt myself, i wonder am i really that gullible ?  sighs.

Saturday, 17 October 2015

honestly, i think i am very lucky to have met you in 2015. although it may not be the best gift that ever happened to me . but I'm so glad i met you still. i can't imagine whad my 2015 would be like if i chosen to  go to sec 5 in jan. everything would be so diff now... you wouldn't know who i am , i wouldn't know you are you. we would never have had the chance to cross each other path ... sometimes i regret talking to you first. because if i didn't , i wouldn't have like you. i wouldn't have caused you so much problem... i know now that you know i like you a lot. although you don't say anything or do anything. i know that is because you can't .... I'm sorry i made your life so problematic,.. even tho i know you have a gf , i still like you lots and i can't stop thinking abt you... its like a sin to like you and I'm the sinner. everyday without fail, i would be thinking about you. whad are you doing... where are you... are you w her ? ....

Sunday, 11 October 2015

have you ever thought about me ? have you ever meant anything you ever said to me ? well i do. i think about you 24/7 . whether I'm sleeping or awake. this is how much you mean to me now.. i don't even know why I'm doing this when i know very well its never gonna be possible between us..


明明知道我们之间是不可能的却还傻傻地爱着你。
爱人～ 死了咯，我对你的好感越来越深。 越来越喜欢你哦～ 怎样办好呢？ 可惜我没拿缘分早点认识到你。可是你放心好了，我是不会拆散你和她的，虽然会吃醋，可是你原本就不是我的啊。我会慢慢的从你人生中消失。在我还在的这段时间里，我会把最好的都给你。


每个人都叫我不要傻啊，可是我却听不进。 这叫自找自作自受。谢谢你点燃了我的2015年。 你的存在是我人生中最美好的一回事。我看我这辈子是不可能忘记你了，我很高兴能够认识到你。

因为你，我的华语进步了很多，我也学到了跟多语言。hahaha我还记得你说我讲话越来越像Malaysian了～

爱人～谢谢你，我们有缘的话，我们还会相遇的。

Friday, 2 October 2015

hello !! super duper excited  cause i can finally blog about my bkk trip !! ^^ so here goes a summarised version of my 4D3N trip to Bangkok !!


Day 1
6AM : flight to bkk on a sunday morning.
8AM : arrived in bkk !
we took the BTS train to our hotel, baiyoke sky. it was a really unique experience for me . i always wanted to go on a trip to bangkok ! especially seeing all my friends that went there before. all their vlogs and shopping hauls... HEHEHE i finally get to do itttt !!
First stop ! Chatuchak Weekend Market !! i swear this place is heaven, although the price ranges. but there are lots of good stuff to buy and cheap too ! really regret not changing more money for this trip... didn't really complete walking around this area cause i was really shagged and the weather was killing all of us.... then we headed over to central world for dinner w my cousin who just happened to be in bangkok for a business trip . great company. after dinner, we went for a relaxing foot massage to end of the day.



Day 2
Headed out to Pratunam Market for the freaking cheap deals and amazing clothes !! damn it was the biggest haul in my entire life. I'm serious.  heheheheheh , then we headed out to terminal 21 for the ' sight seeing ' cause we don't have enough money or budget to go on real tours. HAHAHAHA. :p after pratunam market, we went to siam square to search for a manicurist but failed and we wanted to give up so badly, but just then.... we chanced upon an empty shop. THANK GOD . heheheh happy us w our mani and pedi done ^^ then we went to took a tuk tuk back to our hotel, cause apparently the shuttle bus cheated on our feelings. and i rode a tuk tuk w two south africans ,heheheh it was an awesome ride :D



Day 3

Out we go to MBK centre !! it was also another great day of shopping hehehe.



Day 4

we're coming home. I'm lazy to update more.  heheheh . now that bangkok is crossed out from my list. next stop, korea, japan and hong kong and taiwan !!