Sunday, 17 January 2016

I'm going to tell myself, i need to be happy and i will be happy. for myself and for him. I'm aware of my actions, and no i will not stop doing it. i am going to fight for my own happiness. but i won't break you guys apart. ultimately, ill want him to decide. i will wait, and i won't force him or mentionit to him. he have to make a decision for himself. i know if i really end up being the reason for their break... many people will judge me, they will hate me. but its ok, cause i won't mind. if i can be happy w him. yes they tell me to think twice. they want me to know that if he can do this to her now,, whad makes me so sure that he won't do this to me in the future ? if i choose to be w him. i will trust he won't do this to me. just like her, i am in no position to give any comments actually. but I'm just gonna say whads on my mind... because this is my space. and if you're reading it and judging me, please kindly just leave this site. ..

what exactly are we  ? i wonder. we are more than colleagues. we started off as colleagues we progress to friends. then to best friend. now we have feelings for each other. its gonna be a year soon. i know its not the most healthiest relationship, but we were happy at times. thank you for being there for me, thank you for telling me that you are willing to listen to all my troubles,. you are the very first guy to ever say that to me. and it really warms my heart. I'm so scared of losing you , even if we can't be lovers, I'm glad you still called me your best friend. its not gonna be easy to stay just best friends when we had genuine feeling for each other. i can't hope for anything. but i just wish something will be decided soon for good. all I'm hoping for now, is that you can celebrate my 18th birthday with me. i won't need anything else if i can see you there .. you will be the best gift ill ever receive..

i may not be be part of your life 21years ago, we never expect to cross each other path, we never expect feelings to grow between us. i never thought ill fall for you. i never thought you would mean so much to me.. even if i get to catch a glimpse of you now, I'm really happy and thats all i ever will need to get me past each week. i just hope that i can be apart of your future from now. i may not know whad role I'm suppose to play.. but anything will do, so long as i can see you in my future. :)

aini aini <3

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