Wednesday, 25 November 2015

i really dk whad I'm doing these days.  overthinking every now and then, really believing that he is mine. when he isn't... i can't help but think, maybe i am used to you  ? but everything is so different now.. not like when you first texted me .. honestly, I'm very confused by you. i mean you really showed me you care abt me.. you really are the person who texts me. just that idk, there is something still bothering me.. and then i realise that I'm the third party. I'm sorry i behaved this way, I'm sorry I'm acting like this.. maybe you are afraid to stop cause after all I'm a kid, maybe you dw to hurt my feelings.. idk... but back then when you first knew my feelings for you,, you tried to avoid me so much,.. why is it now that you are ok w it and the replies you give... it makes me feel like its no longer a one sided rs.    "  whad if you found your soul mate... at the wrong time ? "


你对我说过的每一句话我都会牢牢记住在心里，可是你记得吗？ 你对我说过的话... 也许你只把我当小妹妹酱看待，而我却自己在这胡思乱想。你说过如果我们没缘分，我们就不会认识到彼此，我还以为只有我会有酱的想法，没想到你也会说出这种话... 听了真的会心暖啊。。 我还记得，你以前说过，拍拖是为了了解对方，讲不定这男的可以给到她幸福呢 .... 请问冯先生，你会不会陪我？ 最近我们聊的话题...真的把我弄乱了啊，一下子说 至少还有你 ，却另一天又消失了。我真的好怕你一句不说就离开我啊，也许应该是我要离开你才对。因为我本来就不应该和你有这种感情。如果要放下你，我只会静静地消失，再也不出现在你面前。可是我看不到你，我好难过，好害怕。you may call me selfish, for not considering the gf's feelings... but i am really trying my best... i ask god for help, i ask everyone i can for help. they all tells me that i should never feel bad or guilty because ... up to this stage, it is him who chose me.

i keep telling myself, i keep reminding myself. that if it hurts too much , i have to let go. but no ... i can't . instead it just gives me more reason to pick up more courage to win this battle. it gives me headaches, but it makes me happy . they say I'm just one more step away from happiness.. and that I'm one step closer to you, but then it came so fast sometimes, idk whad I'm doing. idk whether its the  right to do or not. you keep appearin in my dreams these few weeks. you even tell me stuffs ,, which I'm glad you did. you randomly sends me an old photo of you.. xiixixi its really adorable. when you went missing this morning, I'm so scared ytd's goodbye was forever. it took me a lot of courage to actually be the one sendin a text first. cause I'm afraid you won't reply. like once , long time ago... but I'm so happy when my phone buzzed and your name appeared on the screen. you said you can't bear to ignore me.. idk how much i can trust your words. but i still choose to believe in it. this is how much you mean to me. you became my entire universe. so many better guys out there, but my heart chose you.

Labels: 我爱你