Wednesday, 21 October 2015

the months seems like years to me, I'm starting to doubt myself too, whad have i turned into (?) I'm no longer the kitty that everyone thought who i was. I'm curious where she went to. i want to find her back, but i just don't know how... everyone out there thinks I'm perfect , Ive no worries and stress. just because i don't show it doesn't mean i don't have it... for all you know , i maybe breaking down inside. barely surviving. I'm holding every pieces of me w that lil amt of strength left in me. I'm tired. i wish i can just go somewhere far .

冯先生，你好吗？ 我有好多话想对你说，可惜我不能说.... 因为说出去后，我真的不知道该怎样走下去... 明明就很喜欢你，却什么也不能说，那些话收在我心里已经很久了. 我都不知道我可以忍到几时... 唉～ 做么我会走到这种地步... 如果当时我没选择pfp,我就不会认识你了. 我也不会害到你被夹在中间... 请问你未来的路要怎么走？ 因为我要鼓起勇气走向另一个方向... 我怕了，我真的不想照成你们中间的问题，我知道我是没机会的啊，可是我还是放不下那一点点希望。。

i really can't control my feelings for you anymore. i know its wrong and i have to stop, but i really can't. I'm falling deeper as the days goes by. everything i heard from others, it really makes me wonder if there is even a 1% chance between us, but then again there is her. she will always be there, i know i shouldn't even be mentioning her when I'm the extra here. but its just so confusing sometimes. i don't even know if you are lying to me or not, i don't even know if i can trust your words at times. it was you that told me not to trust everyone words. but are you one of them that is lying to me too ? i wonder a lot, but i still chose to believe you won't lie to me and that you are always serious w whad you said to me... but sometimes i really doubt myself, i wonder am i really that gullible ?  sighs.